Guide to Dirty Talk

You’ve mastered the bedroom eyes and sexy lingerie, but what about the pillow talk? To ease you into the sexy banter, we chatted with Dana Myers, founder of Booty Parlor, about tips and tricks for talking dirty. The beauty expert (and sex goddess) had suggestions for beginners and shy girls alike, and assures us that even she still has to practice occasionally.

Marie Claire: To start off, how would you define dirty talk? The phrase feels so intimidating!

Dana Myers: It does feel scary. People will often clam up and think, “I can’t do that!,” but it’s really just another way to express yourself in the bedroom. Women can use lingerie or toys or just their voice, and best of all, it’ll be totally unique to you. Women can be soft and sleek and still a little naughty, or racy and raunchy and way out there, and anywhere in the middle! It’s really just another way to heighten foreplay, add adventure, and actually get what you want in bed.

A lot of women are afraid to ask for what they want, and it’s important to translate what feels good and what’s going to bring you satisfaction into words. Doing that in a fun, sexy, and frisky way is dirty talk! Be confident, and discover a little bit of your inner bad girl.

DM: It’s a combination of the words you’re saying, how you say it, and the mood you’ve set. Use your voice the way you’re moving your body. Talk softly, look at each other or close your eyes if you feel more comfortable. You don’t want to be laughing hysterically while you describe what you’re about to do to your lover, but it’s okay to be silly and giggle a little if that’s how you feel.

You don’t need to jump in with anything extreme. Something that can read as innocent as I love the way your tongue feels on my skin obviously means a whole lot more. If that’s still too much, just whisper into your lover’s ears. The heat of your breath and a few sultry words is incredibly scintillating.

MC: When’s the best time for dirty talk? Before you get into the bedroom or when things are already hot and heavy?

DM: Well, once you’re really comfortable with it you’ll find yourself using it at dinner, I swear! You’ll be out hiking, and you’ll say something sexy and give him a slap on the bottom. When you use it as foreplay completely out of the bedroom, it’s fun and saucy and gets mental stimulation going on during the day. It’s important for women to think about sex outside the bedroom so by the time you get in there, you’re warmed up a bit.

For a lot of women, the point of talking dirty is to get more of what they want. Some people are totally satisfied and just incorporating it as a fun thing, which is great, but you can use it to ask for what you need or to make sure he stays put and keeps doing what he’s doing.