Stories That Will Make You Cringe Forever

More often than not, sex toys do what they’re supposed to do: give you an orgasm. But sometimes fate (and uncontrollable bodily functions) has other plans.

Here, seventeen people get *real* with some serious cautionary tales about sex toys, but also a reminder that you’ll laugh about it later. Eventually.

1. “The guy I was dating bought us a vibrating ring to put on his penis. He has a pretty thick shaft. After amazing sex, he went to take it off and it was stuck. It would not come off him! So we tried using lotion and it still wouldn’t move and his penis was starting to turn purple-ish from losing circulation. Luckily, he trusted me with scissors to cut it off. Let’s just say he won’t be using that again.”

2. “My husband and I got a couple’s bag from a local sex shop and it came with one of those vibrating egg things that you control with a remote. We had used it a couple times, but it was pretty cheap. We were messing around with it and I kept feeling this pinch that wouldn’t quit. Then all of the sudden an awful jolt went through me because apparently one of the wires was frayed and exposed, literally shocking me in the vagina.” — Kendra, 22

3. “Me and ex-boyfriend were using a butt plug while cat and house sitting. During doggie style he had ‘poor aim’ and pushed the butt plug up inside me (the base was small, as it was an intro plug). I essentially had to go to the toilet and poo it out. Luckily, me and my ex were super chill and were laughing about it while I sat on the toilet.” — Sophie, 18

4. “My boyfriend and I had always been fairly vanilla with our sex, save for a few nights where we’ve role played. About a year ago, I decided to buy some toys—vibrating cock ring and butt plug—to have some fun with. I’ve never been a fan of butt stuff but my boyfriend loves it, so I’m always down to go along. We did our thing, played with the toys, and when it was time to clean up, I pulled the butt plug out and I pooped. Everywhere.